Three words: puerto rican gang bang
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
