yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
