is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
He felt like a one man threesome
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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