oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Sober January is a disaster.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
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