My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
