..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize