I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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