I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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