Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
