just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
