i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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