i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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