so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
are you so shy because you have an std?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
i believe in u and ur pee
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
