Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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