He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
