He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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