My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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