I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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