My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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