She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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