imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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