Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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