Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize