we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize