if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
