Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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