so that wasnt chicken after all
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
