he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
