no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
