Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize