Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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