I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
