Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize