tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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