I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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