everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
