And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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