I cockslap morals
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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