I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
