no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
