I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
