I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize