Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
