You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
