I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
