good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
There's always time for handjobs
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
