Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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