i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Randomize
