Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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