My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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