That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
