In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
