Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
