I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
