My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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