Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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