I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
