So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
