What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
