i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
