And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
