I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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