i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
