I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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