Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
