Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
So vagazzling was a success
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
