So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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