we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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