the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
