Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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