I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
