your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
You did what with his pubic hair?
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