check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Randomize
